Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Mormon Magic

The past couple of days I've been letting my imagination have a little fun with a few things that would have made being a mormon a little more fun.

What if garments really were ultra super protective?! I mean picture it now. Frodo from the Lord of the Rings is not only the ring bearer, but a mormon missionary! Sent to destroy the ring and convert Sauron from his wicked ways. I know most of you must remember the scene in the mines of Moria(The abandoned underground dwarven city) As they are battling with the orcs, a cave-troll comes into the battle and all hell breaks loose. Right before they kill the troll it runs Frodo through with a spear and frodo collapses. At this point everyone in the group thinks he's dead. He then begins to cough and wake up, only to reveal that underneath his clothes he's wearing something special. Gimli utters, "Garments!" lol Ok, Ok, for those that know the story of course it's "Mithril!". But just think how funny it would have been if it was "Garments!"

And what about the temple video. I mean if you are going to raise your arm to the square to command that the devil leave, your should at least have some kind of white light emanating from your hand. Better yet a flaming ball of fire that you can hurl would be awesome! I mean, no question of authority there! They could even have peter use the south park Eric Cartman quote, "respect my athoritay!". I definitely wouldn't mind watching it as much. That's for sure!

I've also noticed a semi-real mormon power. It's helped me understand why testimony bearing may work so well.

Okay, tell me if you are with me on this one. You are watching TV and see something bad happen to someone that you feel for, or if you see something tragic happen to a group of innocent people. Isn't it almost instinctive to have an emotional rush and feel some connection to them?

It's the magic power of crying. Seriously! I mean once you see them starting to get teary, you begin to think, "Wow, they must really mean it or be serious!" and WHAM!, you've been caught by the mormon magic of crying!

I mean if the getting choked up doesn't work, then they crank it up a notch! First a tear, then more. Whatever it takes! I'm surprised it hasn't become even more extreme. I mean, once they realize that the crying isn't working on the exmos, what's next?

The magic power of hitting oneself?

On a different topic... I was thinking about how funny outer darkness sounds. I mean come on. Outer darkness? Don't forget your night light? To me outer darkness sounds like a dark closet they make you stand in to take your punishment in heaven. Spooky!

I have one last note for the day about super mormon powers. Simeon's always wanted freezing breath. I think that he's forgotten that he already has more then that! Just ask him. He has control of the elements! NO kidding. Says so right in his partiarchal blessing. lol

There's nothing like a little mormon magic.


Blogger Simeon's Peep Stone said...

No one loves you because you don't have any magic powers anymore. ha ha

3:38 PM  
Blogger Arizona Expositor said...

Ishmael, your creativity oozes onto the web and from what I can see it comes pretty easy to you. I think the best example of Mormon magic are garments stopping bullets. I am going to bring a gun to Thanksgiving dinner with the TBM cousins of my wife and see if the garments will stop the bullet, and to be nice I will only use a .22...

4:53 PM  
Blogger Just one of many said...

Hey ATF/Department of homeland security dear arizona is just least about testing the garmies, he knows they won't work thank god!!

8:02 PM  
Blogger Cynthia E. Bagley said...

Why oh why... did I now see the potential of magic garmies.. (put them on the windows like blackout curtains). :-)

4:52 PM  
Blogger Cynthia E. Bagley said...

now=not (need blogger correction fluid)

Oh did you see how the blonde corrected her paper???? She put white-out on her computer screen.

4:53 PM  
Blogger Arizona Expositor said...

I never thought of ATF or Homeland Security, I'll ask them to take them off first. :)

6:18 PM  

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