Monday, August 21, 2006

I am Great!

No, seriously, I am. It seems like you may not be sure. Let me help you out. I can help you see, feel and know how great I am. You'll have to place just a small amount of trust in me. The knowledge you'll receive will be well worth it.

Here's what I need you to do. Go to all your friends, family, and even people you don't know and tell them how great I am! Why are you giving me that look? I'm totally sincere! I mean, sure you could look into what I've done and verify my background. There are many ways you could look into my past and discover everything I'm about. What you need to understand is, that you don't need to! In fact I'd recommend you don't. Why bother in fact? It's much easier just to go and tell everyone, everywhere, that I'm great! I promise you that if you tell enough people you WILL know!

What? Isn't that lying you say? No of course not! Because it's true. I'm great! And as a great person, would I really tell you to lie? No way! You see? So you wouldn't be lying because it's true! And you'll know it's true by telling others! Brilliant!

Oh, the flawed logic of the LDS leaders. I can't believe I ever listened to their BS.

boyd k packer -"Oh if I could teach you this one principle. A testimony is Found in the Bearing of It" ("The Candle of the Lord," Ensign, Jan. 1983, 51)

So, basically if you don't know, it's okay to lie about it. That way you'll eventually know and not have to lie any more!

By the way, make sure to tell them to give me their money too! I need it. :)

Ishmael the Wild Ass

8 Comments:

Blogger La said...

Where do I send the money? Cause I believe that you're great.

7:12 PM  
Blogger Sister Mary Lisa said...

Ish, you make me laugh hard. You've got a real good sense of humor for a wild ass.

;)

8:16 PM  
Blogger Arizona Expositor said...

LOL, I hate BS acronyms. BTW, that was good stuff I really like the BKP reference. Yours truly...

AZE :>)

9:26 PM  
Blogger Simeon's Peep Stone said...

Stop telling people you're the great one. I'm the great one. You are "The Brother of the Great One". I'll give you the rights to the ministry for a 10% cut though.

9:47 AM  
Blogger Ishmael, the Wild Ass said...

Now now there Hyrum. We all know it's the younger bro that gets to be great! lol

La,

You can send me the money with Simeon's coronas! :)

AZE,

WTF? AAMOF IHA too. MHOTY and MTFBWY.

10:07 AM  
Blogger The Sinister Porpoise said...

Argue all you want, the porpoise plots...

7:15 PM  
Blogger Cynthia E. Bagley said...

LOL... I could use the money too..

You think being sick is cheap???

;-)

8:35 AM  
Blogger Sideon said...

I'm starting to feel bad for all those pricks that are getting kicked.

:)

Owie!

1:06 PM  

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